So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
