dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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