There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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