I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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