I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
