I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
