I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
