the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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