so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
