i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
