why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
