I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
