my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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