i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
