guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
