Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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