I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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