doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
