so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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