These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
