Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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