Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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