i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
