Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
