My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize