I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
