Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
