Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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