My first STD was from a foam party
from now on my penis is your penis
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
