New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
