...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
