That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
