Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
