I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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