She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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