If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize