Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
