is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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