i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
