He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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