I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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