420 ftw
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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