Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
