I seem to have left my pride at pride
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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