I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
