bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
