i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
