i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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