im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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