OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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