dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
