dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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