? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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