She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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