Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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