i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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