i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
