I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
