This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
