i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
