You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
