You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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