thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize
